we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
