You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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