We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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