I accidentally had phone sex last night
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
