just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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