I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
