believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
