It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
