if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize