break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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