her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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