At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
