I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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