There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
