So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
