operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
