So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
