the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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