all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
