i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
