last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
