I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize