If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
