none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
