i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
