The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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