No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
