oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
