is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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