How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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