There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
