Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
