You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
