Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
