You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
and she was petting her beer can
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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