In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
