apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
