Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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