At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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