dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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