We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
not ubering you a puppy
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
