Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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