After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
