There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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