The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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