just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my shit smells like andre
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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