wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
