I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
