He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
