I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
