I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
