i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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