your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize