Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
