we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
