Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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