phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
