Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize