just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
