I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
