Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
