i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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