But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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