I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Everything about him screamed your future.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
